FWIW, two people I love very much (my singing partners) spoke inappropriately about my emotions for years, in spite of the fights about it and my bad reactions to it. Eventually, we went for family counselling, and they finally “got” that talking about my emotions in a different way would elicit a different set of reactions, and that the way that they had been talking about them was, to me, patronizing and rude. We did not love each other more or less before the counselling, but we definitely get along better now.
i just want to say how clever and good and useful i think it is that you and your singing partners went in for family counselling.
Hurray for new and different definitions of family. i read this and i thought “oh! of course, family counselling! i wouldn’t have thought of that, but yes!”
I think we originally got the idea from another singing group that went for group counselling. It made perfect sense to all three of us immediately, although it took a while to do anything about it. We had to all agree to do it at one time, and we had to agree
on a counsellor.